I Feel Like A Grown Up Today

I woke up late this morning as is my routine. Got to work on time though (completely out of the ordinary) and I thought to myself, "Today is going to be a good day." I remembered to pack my entire lunch and breakfast (awesome!), I remembered to put on deodorant (score!), I remembered to bring the diapers I was supposed to for a co worker (for her son, not her) and I had gotten all my work done yesterday so that I could start today with a clean slate.

At nine o'clock, my auspicious feeling started to wane. By ten, I was beginning to question my ability to make sound decisions. It seemed that every file I touched slowly but surely turned into a pile of dog crap in my once capable hands. By 11:00, I had completely lost confidence in my ability to be successful at my new job. I went to lunch and decided that when I got back, things were going to be different at my desk. But by 4:30 I was on the verge of a full fledged panic attack.

Still, I managed to keep myself together - this is no small feat and is proof that medication does work. I was in my car at 6:18 pm and decided that since no one was waiting on me, I would take some time for me. Travis had taken the kids to Sue's for the night and then he was off to the fire house. Tonight was the perfect night for me to try out the alternate route home that avoids highways (which will help me to get to work faster but will hinder my make-up-putting-on-in-traffic-abilities. Shhh, don't tell Vick!) and since it goes through Old Milford, I can check out some of those cute little shops and possibly get my haircut.

About halfway into my alternate route, I took a wrong turn. I know what you are thinking - "Lynsey is a logical thinker, that is what she gets paid to do. Surely she will turn around and back track." But as I have already stated, my logical thinking skills were a bit off today. I decided it was a better idea to keep going and "figure it out." Forty five minutes and 1 call to Travis later, I found my way back to familiar ground.

By the time I got there, almost all of the cool shops were closed and it was too late to get my haircut. I did however stumble upon an interesting little cafe/bar called Latitudes. At this point I figured, "What the hell! I am going to salvage my night." I went in and started relaxing.

This was my kind of place. It is locally owned, slightly weird food, wine list, jazzy vibe and mellow people. Now I really know what you're thinking - "That isn't Lynsey's kind of place! She likes bars with sticky floors, questionable people and places that only serve chili cheese fries and the only drinks you can order is beer or shots." Not tonight, my friends. Tonight, I decided I was an adult.

I sat at a corner table, ordered a glass of wine, and dined on a plate of hummus and pitas. I was writing, listening to jazz and people watching. The really skinny guy across from me drank 3 glasses of wine and ate an appetizer, a burger and fries and chicken skewers. There was a biker chick in camo pants outside and a group of mature women were on what looked like a girls night out. I was calling no attention to myself whatsoever. Again, I was being very un-Lynsey like. I was calm and cool. I was relaxed and quiet. I was not the stumbling, slurring karaoke singing fool that I usually am. I was classy and sophisticated and well mannered. (I did have my feet up on the chair in front of me though.) I was the youngest in the room but the waitress didn't card me (Bitch!) but I didn't feel out of place.

I am not sure how I feel about this new classy Lynsey, she doesn't seem as fun as the old, loud Lynsey. I am not sure how often she will show up (with my friends, I doubt she will make an appearance on a regular basis.) But I am glad that I found this new adult version of Lynsey - I never knew she existed before.

I would say that all in all, today was a good day. Tomorrow I will find my confidence again (it may be hiding with Karaoke Lynsey.) Now I know that I can be grown up and drink wine by myself in a bar (even if 1 glass cost as much as I normally spend on an entire bottle.) I may suppress this grown up Lynsey but she is in there, I promise.