And In The End...

Bill Ellen was a hard working man. He worked for 30 years, swing shift at a thankless job while raising four boys. He worked hard to provide them with food, clothing and shelter but most of all he worked hard to provide them with love and support. He loved his boys more than anything in this world. He sacrificed everything for his family and he gave his all into raising his boys. His boys are now grown men with families of their own and his legacy lives on through them.

William Carl Ellen died April 11, 2009 after a long battle with congestive heart failure and kidney failure. On that day, the light in the world dimmed for a lot of people and will never regain it's brilliance that once was. Bill never knew a stranger and would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. That phrase has been said about a lot of people but I have never seen it ring more true than with Bill. I saw him give freely to his friends and friends of friends and even people that he didn't know just because they needed it. When he saw someone in need he helped them even though he knew he would probably never be paid back. He would never turn his back on his family or friends or anyone he was in the position to help.

His smile could light up any room he was in and nothing made him smile more than his family. I have seen him tell complete strangers about his grandkids, all of the his pictures from his wallet laid out on the bar. I don't think he ever missed the birth of one of his grandkids and if one of his boys or their families needed help he would never think of turning them down.

I cannot say enough about Bill and the kind of person he was. My limitations as a writer are too great to convey exactly how his family felt about him. I can tell you this though - watching the pain on my husband's face in the days following Bill's death was almost too much for me to bear. I had no words to comfort him and I am still at a loss. My husband not only lost his father that day, but also his best friend and his hero. Bill was everything to Travis. He spent the entire week at the hospital by Bill's side, only leaving to go to his classes. The night Bill died was the only night I made Travis come home and for that I will never forgive myself.

You would be hard pressed to find someone that could say anything bad about Bill Ellen. He made some questionable decisions in his life (hey, who hasn't?) but at the core of his being, Bill was one of the most loving, caring and giving people I have ever met. As I looked around at his funeral service, I saw people from all walks of life, people that worked with him 3 decades ago, people that he had helped financially and touched in their hearts. I saw friends of his boys show up to show them support (one wonderful friend drove all the way from Michigan to pay his respects and then turned around and drove right back.) Say what you will about Bill Ellen, but no one can deny how many lives he touched, how many loved him and how many he loved. Take one look at his boys and you will see four loving, respectful, caring men that put family above all else. When I was watching all of those people try to put their feelings into words, trying to comfort each other and deal with the pain of thier loss all I could think was "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." That was proven to me that night in a way that was as painful as it was sweet.

I am saddened every day that my children and nieces and nephews will have limited memories of him and will never know personally just how wonderful their grandfather truly was. I am afraid that Travis and I won't be able to make them understand the kind of man Bill was. I only hope that by watching Travis and his brothers they will be able to see what kind of person he was and the kind of people they need to be to keep the Ellen legacy alive. Bill gave a lot of love and that is evident in the love his family feels and will always feel for him. We will do our best to make Bill proud and continue his family in the way that he would want. We will continue to love and support each other. We will continue to give freely of ourselves and help those in need. We will continue to raise our children to be proud of the Ellen name. We will teach them that respect and hard work is how you make your way in the world. And we will teach them that family, above all else, is the Ellen family legacy.