Yesterday when I got home I was a very happy woman. Travis had cleaned the house (the kitchen and living room anyway, which are the most important), cut the grass and gone to the grocery store. The kids were happily playing. I was thinking to myself "this is the best day ever!"
Since Travis had done all of that I figured the least I could do was make dinner. He wanted fish sticks and pasta. I told him "No problem!" Since we were almost out of laundry detergent I figured I could kill 2 birds with 1 stone and whip some up while I was cooking. Here is where it gets interesting.
I had to make 2 boxes of pasta because Sam was over as well and my kids LOVE Pasta Roni. But since I had to use the big pot to cook the laundry detergent in, I had to use two little pots to make the noodles. That means there were three burners going at once. Since the stove is rarely used at my house and when it is there are never three burners going at once, I failed to notice that something flammable was stuck on the back burner.
There I was, cooking away, happy as can be when I smelled something kinda funky. It smelled like something was burning. Then it started to smoke. I am sure you have heard the saying "Where there's smoke, there's fire." I can assure you that is true because before I could do anything the burner burst into flames! I didn't know what to do. If I got the fire extinguisher then I would ruin the noodles and the laundry detergent. If I tried to beat it with a towel then I would likely spread it. So I did what any logical thinking, capable woman would do. I started screaming. The kids came running into the kitchen. Paige started screaming and crying. Sam and Hudson were yelling "fire!" and running outside. I kept screaming for Travis but he was in the basement and thought I was yelling "Spider!" and figured I should be able to deal with that myself. By the time he ran upstairs, the house was filled with smoke and the pot had boiled over. The boiling over of the noodles actually doused the flames and saved the house. But Paige was still screaming.
She was crying with those giant crocodile tears and couldn't catch her breath. She was screaming "I want my food! I want my food!" Now, if you have never heard my daughter scream then you cannot possibly understand exactly what she sounds like. It sounds exactly like a high pitched fog horn filled with gravel while the Guinness Book of World's Records winner for the longest fingernails rubs them on a chalkboard. She locks her knees until they appear double jointed and clenches her fists while standing stick straight so she can barely be picked up. Sounds precious doesn't it?? She did this for what felt like a half an hour. Whenever I asked her why she was screaming all she would say was "I WANT MY FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I had no idea that she felt so strongly about Pasta Roni but apparently she does. Either that or she was just scared. Either way, I managed to get her calmed down and was even able to finish cooking dinner. The laundry detergent was completely unharmed (as was the pot of pasta on the front burner.) I added some butter to the other pot and dumped them together. They ended up tasting OK. Dinner was salvaged and it still ended up being a pretty good night. We have decided, though, that the stove needs to be cleaned and I am not in charge of dinner anymore.
Side note: The other night when I took the kids on a walk, Hudson and I were talking about what he wanted to be when he grew up. He said maybe a fireman or policeman but he definitely didn't want to be a doctor. When I asked why he said because "they have to put their hands inside people." The next night when Paige and I were watching PBS (yes, my kids watch PBS) there was a commercial on that showed kids dressed up as different professionals. She said "I don't want to be a doctor." When I asked why she said (very seriously) "Because they have to put their hands inside people's butts!"
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
I Feel Like A Grown Up Today
I woke up late this morning as is my routine. Got to work on time though (completely out of the ordinary) and I thought to myself, "Today is going to be a good day." I remembered to pack my entire lunch and breakfast (awesome!), I remembered to put on deodorant (score!), I remembered to bring the diapers I was supposed to for a co worker (for her son, not her) and I had gotten all my work done yesterday so that I could start today with a clean slate.
At nine o'clock, my auspicious feeling started to wane. By ten, I was beginning to question my ability to make sound decisions. It seemed that every file I touched slowly but surely turned into a pile of dog crap in my once capable hands. By 11:00, I had completely lost confidence in my ability to be successful at my new job. I went to lunch and decided that when I got back, things were going to be different at my desk. But by 4:30 I was on the verge of a full fledged panic attack.
Still, I managed to keep myself together - this is no small feat and is proof that medication does work. I was in my car at 6:18 pm and decided that since no one was waiting on me, I would take some time for me. Travis had taken the kids to Sue's for the night and then he was off to the fire house. Tonight was the perfect night for me to try out the alternate route home that avoids highways (which will help me to get to work faster but will hinder my make-up-putting-on-in-traffic-abilities. Shhh, don't tell Vick!) and since it goes through Old Milford, I can check out some of those cute little shops and possibly get my haircut.
About halfway into my alternate route, I took a wrong turn. I know what you are thinking - "Lynsey is a logical thinker, that is what she gets paid to do. Surely she will turn around and back track." But as I have already stated, my logical thinking skills were a bit off today. I decided it was a better idea to keep going and "figure it out." Forty five minutes and 1 call to Travis later, I found my way back to familiar ground.
By the time I got there, almost all of the cool shops were closed and it was too late to get my haircut. I did however stumble upon an interesting little cafe/bar called Latitudes. At this point I figured, "What the hell! I am going to salvage my night." I went in and started relaxing.
This was my kind of place. It is locally owned, slightly weird food, wine list, jazzy vibe and mellow people. Now I really know what you're thinking - "That isn't Lynsey's kind of place! She likes bars with sticky floors, questionable people and places that only serve chili cheese fries and the only drinks you can order is beer or shots." Not tonight, my friends. Tonight, I decided I was an adult.
I sat at a corner table, ordered a glass of wine, and dined on a plate of hummus and pitas. I was writing, listening to jazz and people watching. The really skinny guy across from me drank 3 glasses of wine and ate an appetizer, a burger and fries and chicken skewers. There was a biker chick in camo pants outside and a group of mature women were on what looked like a girls night out. I was calling no attention to myself whatsoever. Again, I was being very un-Lynsey like. I was calm and cool. I was relaxed and quiet. I was not the stumbling, slurring karaoke singing fool that I usually am. I was classy and sophisticated and well mannered. (I did have my feet up on the chair in front of me though.) I was the youngest in the room but the waitress didn't card me (Bitch!) but I didn't feel out of place.
I am not sure how I feel about this new classy Lynsey, she doesn't seem as fun as the old, loud Lynsey. I am not sure how often she will show up (with my friends, I doubt she will make an appearance on a regular basis.) But I am glad that I found this new adult version of Lynsey - I never knew she existed before.
I would say that all in all, today was a good day. Tomorrow I will find my confidence again (it may be hiding with Karaoke Lynsey.) Now I know that I can be grown up and drink wine by myself in a bar (even if 1 glass cost as much as I normally spend on an entire bottle.) I may suppress this grown up Lynsey but she is in there, I promise.
At nine o'clock, my auspicious feeling started to wane. By ten, I was beginning to question my ability to make sound decisions. It seemed that every file I touched slowly but surely turned into a pile of dog crap in my once capable hands. By 11:00, I had completely lost confidence in my ability to be successful at my new job. I went to lunch and decided that when I got back, things were going to be different at my desk. But by 4:30 I was on the verge of a full fledged panic attack.
Still, I managed to keep myself together - this is no small feat and is proof that medication does work. I was in my car at 6:18 pm and decided that since no one was waiting on me, I would take some time for me. Travis had taken the kids to Sue's for the night and then he was off to the fire house. Tonight was the perfect night for me to try out the alternate route home that avoids highways (which will help me to get to work faster but will hinder my make-up-putting-on-in-traffic-abilities. Shhh, don't tell Vick!) and since it goes through Old Milford, I can check out some of those cute little shops and possibly get my haircut.
About halfway into my alternate route, I took a wrong turn. I know what you are thinking - "Lynsey is a logical thinker, that is what she gets paid to do. Surely she will turn around and back track." But as I have already stated, my logical thinking skills were a bit off today. I decided it was a better idea to keep going and "figure it out." Forty five minutes and 1 call to Travis later, I found my way back to familiar ground.
By the time I got there, almost all of the cool shops were closed and it was too late to get my haircut. I did however stumble upon an interesting little cafe/bar called Latitudes. At this point I figured, "What the hell! I am going to salvage my night." I went in and started relaxing.
This was my kind of place. It is locally owned, slightly weird food, wine list, jazzy vibe and mellow people. Now I really know what you're thinking - "That isn't Lynsey's kind of place! She likes bars with sticky floors, questionable people and places that only serve chili cheese fries and the only drinks you can order is beer or shots." Not tonight, my friends. Tonight, I decided I was an adult.
I sat at a corner table, ordered a glass of wine, and dined on a plate of hummus and pitas. I was writing, listening to jazz and people watching. The really skinny guy across from me drank 3 glasses of wine and ate an appetizer, a burger and fries and chicken skewers. There was a biker chick in camo pants outside and a group of mature women were on what looked like a girls night out. I was calling no attention to myself whatsoever. Again, I was being very un-Lynsey like. I was calm and cool. I was relaxed and quiet. I was not the stumbling, slurring karaoke singing fool that I usually am. I was classy and sophisticated and well mannered. (I did have my feet up on the chair in front of me though.) I was the youngest in the room but the waitress didn't card me (Bitch!) but I didn't feel out of place.
I am not sure how I feel about this new classy Lynsey, she doesn't seem as fun as the old, loud Lynsey. I am not sure how often she will show up (with my friends, I doubt she will make an appearance on a regular basis.) But I am glad that I found this new adult version of Lynsey - I never knew she existed before.
I would say that all in all, today was a good day. Tomorrow I will find my confidence again (it may be hiding with Karaoke Lynsey.) Now I know that I can be grown up and drink wine by myself in a bar (even if 1 glass cost as much as I normally spend on an entire bottle.) I may suppress this grown up Lynsey but she is in there, I promise.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
And In The End...
Bill Ellen was a hard working man. He worked for 30 years, swing shift at a thankless job while raising four boys. He worked hard to provide them with food, clothing and shelter but most of all he worked hard to provide them with love and support. He loved his boys more than anything in this world. He sacrificed everything for his family and he gave his all into raising his boys. His boys are now grown men with families of their own and his legacy lives on through them.
William Carl Ellen died April 11, 2009 after a long battle with congestive heart failure and kidney failure. On that day, the light in the world dimmed for a lot of people and will never regain it's brilliance that once was. Bill never knew a stranger and would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. That phrase has been said about a lot of people but I have never seen it ring more true than with Bill. I saw him give freely to his friends and friends of friends and even people that he didn't know just because they needed it. When he saw someone in need he helped them even though he knew he would probably never be paid back. He would never turn his back on his family or friends or anyone he was in the position to help.
His smile could light up any room he was in and nothing made him smile more than his family. I have seen him tell complete strangers about his grandkids, all of the his pictures from his wallet laid out on the bar. I don't think he ever missed the birth of one of his grandkids and if one of his boys or their families needed help he would never think of turning them down.
I cannot say enough about Bill and the kind of person he was. My limitations as a writer are too great to convey exactly how his family felt about him. I can tell you this though - watching the pain on my husband's face in the days following Bill's death was almost too much for me to bear. I had no words to comfort him and I am still at a loss. My husband not only lost his father that day, but also his best friend and his hero. Bill was everything to Travis. He spent the entire week at the hospital by Bill's side, only leaving to go to his classes. The night Bill died was the only night I made Travis come home and for that I will never forgive myself.
You would be hard pressed to find someone that could say anything bad about Bill Ellen. He made some questionable decisions in his life (hey, who hasn't?) but at the core of his being, Bill was one of the most loving, caring and giving people I have ever met. As I looked around at his funeral service, I saw people from all walks of life, people that worked with him 3 decades ago, people that he had helped financially and touched in their hearts. I saw friends of his boys show up to show them support (one wonderful friend drove all the way from Michigan to pay his respects and then turned around and drove right back.) Say what you will about Bill Ellen, but no one can deny how many lives he touched, how many loved him and how many he loved. Take one look at his boys and you will see four loving, respectful, caring men that put family above all else. When I was watching all of those people try to put their feelings into words, trying to comfort each other and deal with the pain of thier loss all I could think was "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." That was proven to me that night in a way that was as painful as it was sweet.
I am saddened every day that my children and nieces and nephews will have limited memories of him and will never know personally just how wonderful their grandfather truly was. I am afraid that Travis and I won't be able to make them understand the kind of man Bill was. I only hope that by watching Travis and his brothers they will be able to see what kind of person he was and the kind of people they need to be to keep the Ellen legacy alive. Bill gave a lot of love and that is evident in the love his family feels and will always feel for him. We will do our best to make Bill proud and continue his family in the way that he would want. We will continue to love and support each other. We will continue to give freely of ourselves and help those in need. We will continue to raise our children to be proud of the Ellen name. We will teach them that respect and hard work is how you make your way in the world. And we will teach them that family, above all else, is the Ellen family legacy.
William Carl Ellen died April 11, 2009 after a long battle with congestive heart failure and kidney failure. On that day, the light in the world dimmed for a lot of people and will never regain it's brilliance that once was. Bill never knew a stranger and would give you the shirt off his back if you needed it. That phrase has been said about a lot of people but I have never seen it ring more true than with Bill. I saw him give freely to his friends and friends of friends and even people that he didn't know just because they needed it. When he saw someone in need he helped them even though he knew he would probably never be paid back. He would never turn his back on his family or friends or anyone he was in the position to help.
His smile could light up any room he was in and nothing made him smile more than his family. I have seen him tell complete strangers about his grandkids, all of the his pictures from his wallet laid out on the bar. I don't think he ever missed the birth of one of his grandkids and if one of his boys or their families needed help he would never think of turning them down.
I cannot say enough about Bill and the kind of person he was. My limitations as a writer are too great to convey exactly how his family felt about him. I can tell you this though - watching the pain on my husband's face in the days following Bill's death was almost too much for me to bear. I had no words to comfort him and I am still at a loss. My husband not only lost his father that day, but also his best friend and his hero. Bill was everything to Travis. He spent the entire week at the hospital by Bill's side, only leaving to go to his classes. The night Bill died was the only night I made Travis come home and for that I will never forgive myself.
You would be hard pressed to find someone that could say anything bad about Bill Ellen. He made some questionable decisions in his life (hey, who hasn't?) but at the core of his being, Bill was one of the most loving, caring and giving people I have ever met. As I looked around at his funeral service, I saw people from all walks of life, people that worked with him 3 decades ago, people that he had helped financially and touched in their hearts. I saw friends of his boys show up to show them support (one wonderful friend drove all the way from Michigan to pay his respects and then turned around and drove right back.) Say what you will about Bill Ellen, but no one can deny how many lives he touched, how many loved him and how many he loved. Take one look at his boys and you will see four loving, respectful, caring men that put family above all else. When I was watching all of those people try to put their feelings into words, trying to comfort each other and deal with the pain of thier loss all I could think was "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." That was proven to me that night in a way that was as painful as it was sweet.
I am saddened every day that my children and nieces and nephews will have limited memories of him and will never know personally just how wonderful their grandfather truly was. I am afraid that Travis and I won't be able to make them understand the kind of man Bill was. I only hope that by watching Travis and his brothers they will be able to see what kind of person he was and the kind of people they need to be to keep the Ellen legacy alive. Bill gave a lot of love and that is evident in the love his family feels and will always feel for him. We will do our best to make Bill proud and continue his family in the way that he would want. We will continue to love and support each other. We will continue to give freely of ourselves and help those in need. We will continue to raise our children to be proud of the Ellen name. We will teach them that respect and hard work is how you make your way in the world. And we will teach them that family, above all else, is the Ellen family legacy.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I Have A Dream...
Actually, I have lots of dreams. Not all of them are lofty dreams in which I better the world by curbing global warming or ending hunger. Some of my dreams are quite mundane, nonetheless, they are my dreams and I believe them to be valid and worth sharing.
1. I want to go to Greece with my girls. I want to lay on the deck of giant cruise ship, in a white bikini (showing off my six pack that doesn't presently exist) while being served margaritas (on the rocks, no salt) by a 23 year old waiter named Stavros. In this dream, all of the very handsome Greek men are named Stavros and they know how to make the perfect margarita (do they even serve margaritas in Greece?) and I get to eat hummus and olives (in this dream I like olives.) The aforementioned six pack was obtained by eating nothing but nachos and cupcakes and doing no sit ups what so ever. The cruise ship (a brilliant white) is floating in the sparkling blue water of the Meditteranean and when I look up all I can see is blue skies and white buildings with blue roofs on Santorini Island.
2. I want to be the best mom ever. I want to spend tons of time with my kids and be their best friend. I want to be the cool mom while still being respected by my children. I want them to come to me with their dreams and aspirations and I want to be able to be supportive even when I don't agree with them. I want to encourage them to explore all their options in all things that pertain to their lives and be OK with it if they choose something that I wouldn't. I want them to ask for my advice even though I don't have a great track record of making good decisions (especially when I was a teenager.) I want to be involved in their lives but not overbearing and I don't ever want to let them down.
3. I want to own a funky boutique and sell only one-of-a-kind things that I or other local artists make. The boutique would have hand painted floors and ceilings (by me) and it would be jammed pack full of electic pieces that didn't match but somehow looked great together. There would be bright colors and shapes every where and it would be over the top but in a very sophisticated, arty way. It wouldn't be pretentious so that young "would be"artists or people that aren't arty or creative wouldn't feel uncomfortable and like they didn't belong. The philosophy is "Free Art." There are no rules about what things should look like. You are just creative and however it turns out is that piece's destiny. It was designed by the Fates. I want to sell pottery and art made out of recycled stuff and beautiful clothes at reasonable prices. This boutique would be in a funky town (probably not Blanchester - it has never been described as funky in a good way) and all the local musicians would hang out there. I would have book club meetings and card games on Saturday nights. There would be a sign hanging in the window that said "We are only accepting positive feedback today. If you have anything negative to say, please come back tomorrow."
4. I want to become more organized and a better housekeeper. Or I want to have enough money to pay someone to organize my stuff and clean up after me and my family.
5. I want to read, read, read. I want a fabulous career, I want to be a super involved mom. I want to eat healthy (but I don't want to exercise.) I want do charity work, I want to recycle more. I want to have great hair. I want to be more independent. I want to be a better wife. I want to stick to my guns. I want to have more good actions instead of only having good intentions.
I am looking at this list and it seems that I have a lot of wants which was not my original intention of this post. I would describe myself as a pretty content person although the last little bit doesn't reflect that. I feel I should put in a few things that I like about myself so that it doesn't seem that this is a "Woe is Lynsey" post.
I am funny, I am smart. I am GREAT at karaoke. I have done well for myself so far in my career. I am a pretty good mom (my kids say I am the best ever but they may be a little biased.) I am a pretty decent wife although I don't cook or clean. I have VERY good intentions.
I am not sure I am going to be able to fulfill my dreams but I hope I never stop dreaming of things that I want to do. I don't ever want to be so content with my life that I stop my dreaming and hoping. I am at a very good place in my life - I have a wonderful and supportive husband, the most precious children ever, an incredible family, the best friends in the world, a nice home, a great job. I have pretty much everything a girl could ask for (although I do wish there were a few more hours in the day.) I am not sure what I have done to deserve all this, maybe I was a saint in my former life or am just very conscious of my karma, but I appreciate all of the little and the big things in my life. I don't ever want to take it for granted and stop appreciating it. I am going to continue to dream (I would also like to curb global warming and cure world hunger - wouldn't it be cool if we could do it at the same time?) while I take a little bit of time each day to really reflect on what I have and how awesome my life is.
1. I want to go to Greece with my girls. I want to lay on the deck of giant cruise ship, in a white bikini (showing off my six pack that doesn't presently exist) while being served margaritas (on the rocks, no salt) by a 23 year old waiter named Stavros. In this dream, all of the very handsome Greek men are named Stavros and they know how to make the perfect margarita (do they even serve margaritas in Greece?) and I get to eat hummus and olives (in this dream I like olives.) The aforementioned six pack was obtained by eating nothing but nachos and cupcakes and doing no sit ups what so ever. The cruise ship (a brilliant white) is floating in the sparkling blue water of the Meditteranean and when I look up all I can see is blue skies and white buildings with blue roofs on Santorini Island.
2. I want to be the best mom ever. I want to spend tons of time with my kids and be their best friend. I want to be the cool mom while still being respected by my children. I want them to come to me with their dreams and aspirations and I want to be able to be supportive even when I don't agree with them. I want to encourage them to explore all their options in all things that pertain to their lives and be OK with it if they choose something that I wouldn't. I want them to ask for my advice even though I don't have a great track record of making good decisions (especially when I was a teenager.) I want to be involved in their lives but not overbearing and I don't ever want to let them down.
3. I want to own a funky boutique and sell only one-of-a-kind things that I or other local artists make. The boutique would have hand painted floors and ceilings (by me) and it would be jammed pack full of electic pieces that didn't match but somehow looked great together. There would be bright colors and shapes every where and it would be over the top but in a very sophisticated, arty way. It wouldn't be pretentious so that young "would be"artists or people that aren't arty or creative wouldn't feel uncomfortable and like they didn't belong. The philosophy is "Free Art." There are no rules about what things should look like. You are just creative and however it turns out is that piece's destiny. It was designed by the Fates. I want to sell pottery and art made out of recycled stuff and beautiful clothes at reasonable prices. This boutique would be in a funky town (probably not Blanchester - it has never been described as funky in a good way) and all the local musicians would hang out there. I would have book club meetings and card games on Saturday nights. There would be a sign hanging in the window that said "We are only accepting positive feedback today. If you have anything negative to say, please come back tomorrow."
4. I want to become more organized and a better housekeeper. Or I want to have enough money to pay someone to organize my stuff and clean up after me and my family.
5. I want to read, read, read. I want a fabulous career, I want to be a super involved mom. I want to eat healthy (but I don't want to exercise.) I want do charity work, I want to recycle more. I want to have great hair. I want to be more independent. I want to be a better wife. I want to stick to my guns. I want to have more good actions instead of only having good intentions.
I am looking at this list and it seems that I have a lot of wants which was not my original intention of this post. I would describe myself as a pretty content person although the last little bit doesn't reflect that. I feel I should put in a few things that I like about myself so that it doesn't seem that this is a "Woe is Lynsey" post.
I am funny, I am smart. I am GREAT at karaoke. I have done well for myself so far in my career. I am a pretty good mom (my kids say I am the best ever but they may be a little biased.) I am a pretty decent wife although I don't cook or clean. I have VERY good intentions.
I am not sure I am going to be able to fulfill my dreams but I hope I never stop dreaming of things that I want to do. I don't ever want to be so content with my life that I stop my dreaming and hoping. I am at a very good place in my life - I have a wonderful and supportive husband, the most precious children ever, an incredible family, the best friends in the world, a nice home, a great job. I have pretty much everything a girl could ask for (although I do wish there were a few more hours in the day.) I am not sure what I have done to deserve all this, maybe I was a saint in my former life or am just very conscious of my karma, but I appreciate all of the little and the big things in my life. I don't ever want to take it for granted and stop appreciating it. I am going to continue to dream (I would also like to curb global warming and cure world hunger - wouldn't it be cool if we could do it at the same time?) while I take a little bit of time each day to really reflect on what I have and how awesome my life is.
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