First Day of School

Yesterday my baby (who is obviously no longer a baby) started kindergarten. He was so excited. When I woke him up, he jumped out of bed and was ready in a flash. He is excited about everything! Buying lunch, packing lunch, recess, riding the bus... You name it, he wants to do it. His teacher seems very nice. She is young so she doesn't seem bitter or jaded (yet.) She was very excited about school starting and it was hard not to share her enthusiasm.

I have mixed emotions about Hudson starting school. On the "Pro" side are the following:

1. He loves to learn.
2. Helping him with homework and doing all the fun stuff that comes along with school.
3. He can make friends (outside of my friend's children and his cousins.)

The "Con" side:

1. Travis and I will no longer be the primary influences on his life and decisions.
2. I can no longer control what he learns, sees, hears, or says.
3. As one of my friends stated: "It is the first day of the rest of his life."

I am definitely not ready for him to move on with his life. As much as I am enjoying watching him grow up, I am not ready for it. Travis has assured me that Hudson is not moving on from us, but a part of me feels that way. I miss him already. Yesterday was the first time in his entire life that I couldn't talk to him whenever the feeling struck me. I know this is a part of life (especially his) but it is a little bittersweet for me. It is hard for me to put my feelings into words, a rare occasion for me so I will just leave it at this: I love my son more than life itself. He is growing into an awesome person. I could not be more proud of him if I tried. I am not ready to share him with the world, but to not share would be an amazingly selfish thing to do. I want him to go see the world and make it a better place, as he has done for my life. I don't want to be in a world without him. He will go on to do great things, even if it is only to share his smile with the strangers he will see everyday.

I love you Hudson Joe!