I Need To Get a Twinkie in the City

I think I am having a mid life crisis. Or to be more specific, since I hope to live past 60, I think I am having a 40% life crisis. (I am not positive I want to live past 75 as I am fairly sure that if I am going to be robbed of my dignity I would rather it be from a 3 day bender in Atlantic City which ends with a very dramatic high speed car chase in which no one gets hurt and me being hauled off to jail. In the Lifetime movie of my life, I will be played by the teen star turned adult C lister trying to eek out a living doing lame movies about lame people. Where was I? Oh yeah, I don't want to lose my dignity by becoming incontinent and having cats and being alone, since I am younger than almost all of my friends, I am sure everyone will have died before me.)

Apparently, turning 30 (in 3 1/2 months) has made me very dramatic, or at least exasperated the drama that was already inside of me. I am suddenly realizing all of the things that I haven't done in my life that now I may be too old to do. I never went on Spring Break. That was a bad decision or a really good decision because I probably would have made A LOT of bad decisions on Spring Break. It would probably be creepy if I went to Panama City now, huh? I have never been to a nude beach. I am not saying that I have any desire whatsoever to go to one but I am thinking that it would have been a good idea to do that prior to giving birth to and breast feeding two children - you know, when things were still taut and perky. I have never done a keg stand (which seems odd even to me 'cause I really seem like the type.) I have never been to Europe.

Am I still allowed to shop in the Juniors section? Will the other parents at Hudson's school (he starts kindergarten in the fall - yikes!) look at me funny if I get my nose pierced? Am I still allowed to sneak backstage at concerts and try to meet the band? Can I dye my hair blue?

When I was 15, I had a desire to dye my hair blue. I wanted to show my personality through my hair. I wanted to be different and I thought that would be a great way to do it. I told my dad and he said "Ok." All of a sudden, I was less interested. Which is lame and typical, I know, but without the shock value, the appeal of having blue hair plummeted. The other day, I decided "What the H. I am going to do it. It's only hair, right? So I made an appointment. It took 4 hours, 3 bleaches and 2 dye jobs (there was an issue with the timing of my brown hair turning the desired shade of blue) but by the time I left the salon, the lower portion of the left side of my hair was a beautiful navy blue.

I love it! It was totally worth the wait! (I am referring to the wait at the salon, not the 15 years since I told my dad.) It has only been a day, but I think I am going to keep it like this a while - especially since the timing is now all worked out and it won't take 4 hours next time. Maybe next time I will try purple. I am not concerned about what is said about me. I am pretty sure that everyone will say "Wow! That girl is awesome. She has blue hair and it really reflects her personality!" Travis hasn't said much yet. He is probably just trying to think of the right words to tell me how beautiful and awesome and rock star-ish I am now. The kids haven't even noticed yet; as far as blue hair goes, it is pretty subtle. I am really glad I did it now because 30 is too old to dye your hair blue, although I hear it is quite popular with the ladies, age 80 and up.

I, by no means, think that I now have to become a dowdy, overbearing soccer mom, but I also don't feel any older than 24. I am trying to navigate through my youth and into my thirties and while I am excited about who I have become in the last 10 years - a more confident, self assured mother of two with a loving and supportive husband, I am sad to be leaving my second decade. I have accomplished a lot, had tons o'fun and created the masterpieces of my life (my children.) I hope the next 10 years is as kind to me as the last have been. I also hope that I can get a grip on myself and don't end up with blue hair and a nose ring decked out in Miley Cyrus garb doing a keg stand in Panama City with a bunch of 19 year olds. We'll see...


P.S. It should be noted that blog was typed on my Mother's Day gift - a beautiful, blue notebook laptop. Thank you Travis, I love it!!