Today I woke up and realized I was 30. So I rolled over and went back to sleep.
I have an appointment for Botox and collagen injections later today. And I have to go buy some anti aging cream and 100% gray coverage hair color. OK, enough of that.
I never thought I would be the girl that freaks out about turning 30. But it turns out I was wrong because I have only been 30 for 11 hours and I already don't like it. I don't feel any different. I don't look any different and Hudson already told me that I didn't get any bigger (thank goodness!) But now I feel like I have to be an adult and I really don't want to be.
A couple of weeks ago I went out with some friends from high school to celebrate turning the big 3-0. We had a great time, had some drinks and Mickey D's and in the morning we discussed our Health Savings Plans. Really??? This is what we have become? Of course, that being said, we are all healthy and happy in our respective relationships, have beautiful children (or none at all, by choice), but still. Thirteen years ago, if you had told us this was going to happen, we would have laughed at you. We would have said "Never." But it happened and while I don't love the fact that I am interested in HSA's, I am not disappointed either.
My first 30 years have been filled with love, laughter, heartache and bliss. I have loved, lost and loved again. I have created my life's work (my children) and met and married my life partner (that's you, Trav.) While I am not proud of all of my decisions in life, I wouldn't be who I am today without those decisions. I have learned to love me and be proud of me in a way that I don't think is possible when you are 19, 21 or even 27.
I am going to embrace my 30's with the same zealousness that I embraced my 20's. I am sure that I will learn more about life and love so that one day people may call me wise (without the sarcasm.) I will survive this decade and in 10 years there will be another blog about how I can't believe I am 40 and all that crap. of course by then I may actually need the Botox and the collagen. I sure hope not.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
First Day of School
Yesterday my baby (who is obviously no longer a baby) started kindergarten. He was so excited. When I woke him up, he jumped out of bed and was ready in a flash. He is excited about everything! Buying lunch, packing lunch, recess, riding the bus... You name it, he wants to do it. His teacher seems very nice. She is young so she doesn't seem bitter or jaded (yet.) She was very excited about school starting and it was hard not to share her enthusiasm.
I have mixed emotions about Hudson starting school. On the "Pro" side are the following:
1. He loves to learn.
2. Helping him with homework and doing all the fun stuff that comes along with school.
3. He can make friends (outside of my friend's children and his cousins.)
The "Con" side:
1. Travis and I will no longer be the primary influences on his life and decisions.
2. I can no longer control what he learns, sees, hears, or says.
3. As one of my friends stated: "It is the first day of the rest of his life."
I am definitely not ready for him to move on with his life. As much as I am enjoying watching him grow up, I am not ready for it. Travis has assured me that Hudson is not moving on from us, but a part of me feels that way. I miss him already. Yesterday was the first time in his entire life that I couldn't talk to him whenever the feeling struck me. I know this is a part of life (especially his) but it is a little bittersweet for me. It is hard for me to put my feelings into words, a rare occasion for me so I will just leave it at this: I love my son more than life itself. He is growing into an awesome person. I could not be more proud of him if I tried. I am not ready to share him with the world, but to not share would be an amazingly selfish thing to do. I want him to go see the world and make it a better place, as he has done for my life. I don't want to be in a world without him. He will go on to do great things, even if it is only to share his smile with the strangers he will see everyday.
I love you Hudson Joe!
I have mixed emotions about Hudson starting school. On the "Pro" side are the following:
1. He loves to learn.
2. Helping him with homework and doing all the fun stuff that comes along with school.
3. He can make friends (outside of my friend's children and his cousins.)
The "Con" side:
1. Travis and I will no longer be the primary influences on his life and decisions.
2. I can no longer control what he learns, sees, hears, or says.
3. As one of my friends stated: "It is the first day of the rest of his life."
I am definitely not ready for him to move on with his life. As much as I am enjoying watching him grow up, I am not ready for it. Travis has assured me that Hudson is not moving on from us, but a part of me feels that way. I miss him already. Yesterday was the first time in his entire life that I couldn't talk to him whenever the feeling struck me. I know this is a part of life (especially his) but it is a little bittersweet for me. It is hard for me to put my feelings into words, a rare occasion for me so I will just leave it at this: I love my son more than life itself. He is growing into an awesome person. I could not be more proud of him if I tried. I am not ready to share him with the world, but to not share would be an amazingly selfish thing to do. I want him to go see the world and make it a better place, as he has done for my life. I don't want to be in a world without him. He will go on to do great things, even if it is only to share his smile with the strangers he will see everyday.
I love you Hudson Joe!
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