Ten Things I Learned from St. Louis

Last weekend my best friends and I took a long weekend in St. Louis. It was my first time in Missouri and while my mother was sure to inform me that there was "so much history" in St. Louis and there are tons of museums, I was bound and determined not to learn anything on my weekend away from responsibilities and being a grown up. Well, my mother will be happy to know that despite my best efforts, I did, in fact, learn a few things on my trip.



1. The arch is not as much of a gateway as it is a statue in the middle of a park.

No one told me that the arch crossed the Mississippi however, that is the way that I imagined it. I don't know why but since it is called the Gateway to the West, I figured you would go through it at some point to get somewhere else (and NOT to the other side of the park.) Although the arch was quite impressive and beautiful, I think it would have been more impressive if it went over the river or at least the road to welcome us to St. Louis.



2. When you can't find your suitcase, a laundry basket works just as well.

A wise woman (this is you Jess T. Berg) once stayed at my house and had packed in a laundry basket. So when I was trying to pack late Thursday night and could not for the life of me find anything to pack in, I thought "Hey! A laundry basket is better than a garbage bag." And not only was it better than a garbage bag, it may have worked out better than the suitcase. It would have been better if it had a handle and wheels, but I was able to fit all of my crap in it and fit well in the back of the Jeep. It was slightly embarrassing though to check in to the Millennium hotel while there was a reception going on carrying a laundry basket with a leopard print Snuggi on top.



3. Eemy Shinkle (one of "my girls" - that is her real name, I swear) cannot go down an escalator without a "free hand" to hold the rail.

So while I packed in a laundry basket, the other girls packed in duffel bags and suitcases. Between the four of us, there was a cooler, a laundry basket, a suitcase, 5 bags, 4 purses, tupperware filled with cupcakes and a lap top bag. That is a lot of stuff! We had to park in the garage across the street, ride an elevator down 8 floors, cross the parking garage, go down an escalator, cross the tunnel under the street and go back up 2 floors just to check in. We had everything situated and balanced precariously (the laundry basket was riding on top of the suitcase) and we weren't doing too bad until we came upon the escalator. I took the laundry basket and Eemy had the suitcase in one hand, the cooler in the other and her purse and possibly the cupcakes. She hesitated at the top because she didn't have a hand to put on the rail. There were several false starts when she decided to let go of the suitcase and then once she got on, she would grab the handle and go down. Except that didn't happen. What did happen was panic when she didn't grab the handle in time and started down the escalator. Not sure why but instead of just riding down and taking two trips, Eemy decided it was a better idea to run up the down escalator to get back to the top (while still holding all the stuff.) She reached the top but still couldn't grab the suitcase either from lack of coordination or laughing, I am not sure which. That time she gave up and just rode all the way down. And did I mention that during this time, the rest of us were laughing hysterically, another guest was watching and Jo was trying not too look because she hadn't gone to the bathroom in hours and almost had an accident.



4. Betty, the concierge, doesn't know crap about good food.

We needed a place to eat. We wanted fast and cheap. We asked Betty (although Jo renamed her Polly) how to get to the Metro but also, where to get something to eat. We were hungover and starving. She told us about the cafe at the hotel but since we didn't want to pay $12 for a chicken salad sandwich, we asked for her to direct us to the nearest fast food. She looked out the window, illustrated to us that we were on 4th St by holding up her four fingers and pointed us in the direction of Hardee's. She also stated, with authority in a strangely thick Jersey accent, that the "food is horrible." Well, Betty/Polly, you have obviously never eaten there after drinking an assortment of shots and dancing all night because I say it was "Delish!" Never has grease tasted so good.



5. All persons wearing boot cut jeans and Affliction T shirts are douche bags.

This is straight from the mouth of Lil Jay - our tattoo artist. While I am not positive that I completely agree (no one is immune from a few bad fashion decisions) I do notice that the majority of Affliction T wearing guys are not as awesome as they think they are.



6. If you are willing to loosen up your morals, you can ride the Metro for free.

S0, we buy a one way Metro ticket for $2.25. That is cool, it is cheaper and easier than driving, and we know we won't get lost. But here is the deal - no one took our ticket. No one looked at it or even noticed us at all. It sort of felt like a Metro free for all. So we did. We rode the entire weekend on that one ticket. We never lied about it and we were willing to buy another one, but since we didn't have to, we didn't. I know that technically it is stealing, but Jo was OK with it and she is VERY against stealing. Plus, it was like cash in our pocket and we are in an economic crisis, you know...



7. Not all cabbies know where they are going and they don't like their pictures taken.

Friday night we went to the Landing where all the tourists go. (We saw a lot of Affliction T shirts that night.) Saturday night we wanted to find "our people." We asked around and got the name of a couple of dive bars. We figured, "We'll tell the cabbie and he'll get us there." Well, the first cabbie took us to an Irish bar which wasn't too bad, but we didn't know any Irish jigs so we left there and tried to go somewhere else. Through a series of random events gone awry (thanks for the phrase, Jo!) we wind up in the middle of a residential street at 11 pm in a questionable neighborhood. Luckily, Eemy had the first cabbie's number (whose name was not Harris but did work for Harris Cab Co) so we called him. Eemy peed behind a tree and about 4 cops passed us without stopping to check on the four white girls chillin on the side walk in the middle of the night before he got there, but luckily he didn't take too long. We told him that we were ready to go back to the hotel and give up but on the way back he was nice enough to take us on a detour to show us the party street where "all the young people are drinking and dancing." That cost us at least five extra dollars but I can't be mad since he saved us from getting ass raped in the city. Oh yeah, and the cabbie on Friday night did NOT like it when I took his picture for my scrapbook. I guess the lighting wasn't good....



8. St Louis is filled with delicious food and free crap!

On Sunday, we were going to go to the Budweiser factory (I was willing to learn something about beer) but we couldn't figure out when the free shuttle was coming and since the free Metro didn't go there, we scrapped that idea. We decided instead to go to the "Taste of St. Louis." I gotta say, one of the best tasting cities I have ever been too. They had beer (always delicious), garlic Parmesan cheese fries (yum!), a gyro (Mel's first), crab Rangoon (never met one I didn't like), and best of all - pulled pork nachos!!! They were amazing. The best damn nachos I have ever had the pleasure of eating. Also, at the festival, if you give your email address out, you can get a free fleece blanket with a Cadillac logo and a bright green backpack from an internet provider. We also got a T shirt, a water bottle from the MO State Lottery, key chains and tiny lotto pencils. I LOVE FREE CRAP!!



9. Lose your parking ticket.

We parked on Friday night in the garage. We didn't move the car until Monday morning. The parking is $18 a day. That is a lot of burgers from Hardee's (yup, still thinking about it.) Anyway, we had budgeted to pay for it but when I got the car out Monday morning, my ticket wouldn't work. The cashier said it was expired and put it in as a lost ticket. We only had to pay $18 for the whole weekend!! It seemed like we had this city figured out! But when I told Trav he said that we could have gotten towed. I am really glad that didn't happen. It would have totally blown our budget. Oh well, live and learn.



And the most important thing I learned on my trip to St. Louis is -



10. No matter where you are or what you are doing, if you are surrounded by awesome people, you will have an awesome time.

I have the best girls in the world and I wouldn't trade them for anything. I love them. We always manage to have a good time and there is no one else I would rather hang out with. They are my best friends and if I am going to get ass raped and stabbed in downtown St. Louis, I want to do it with them.



Vick - we had fun and stuck together the whole time!!!