I'm Back!!

Between work, kids, a dog and kindergarten homework, I have had zero time to blog and less time to think. Since Hudson started school, I feel like I have been on autopilot. Get up, get ready, get kids ready, drop off kids, go to work, work, pick up kids, dinner, homework, bedtime. Then I wake up and do it all again. So here it is, I hope the anxiously awaited, latest blog from yours truly.

I used to have a soul. Now, I have a black, hollow cavity in my chest where that soul used to be. I am not sure of the exact date and time that my soul left me but I know the where and the how. It was sucked out of me by "the man" while I was diligently working long hard hours in my office which is actually a tiny cubicle surrounded by other poor, soulless shells of human beings in tiny cubicles. We sit, chained to our desks, only allowed to get up when nature calls (as long as it doesn't call too often.) We miss our children, our families and our sleep.

Why would we do this, ask? We ask ourselves the same question. We ask ourselves that question daily, some of us hourly. The answer is this: Gotta pay the bills. Of course, I am sure that I could probably find another job. Well, more than likely. Maybe. OK, maybe not. I do it because I have goals and aspirations. Not sure how my current job in the mortgage industry will help me become a rock star, but every one's gotta start somewhere. I think most of us are in the same boat - we got in the industry when the money was good, now it's not but we are stuck. The worst part is that I actually like my job. I just liked having a soul more.

Now I have to figure out how to get my soul back while keeping my job. I have never been a fan of Corporate America but the pay is decent and it has pretty good benefits. I am teaching my children that I am not afraid of hard work and that is how to make your way in the world. I am also teaching them that sometimes the means to an end is OK, which is OK with me.

Ideally, I wouldn't have to work for the man. I could spend my days teaching my children how to love and respect all people. I could create art all day. Someone would pay me good money and give me health insurance to write down all my random musings. I doubt this is ever going to happen, but I can hope can't I?

Oh wait, do I need a soul to have hope? Never mind then...